snotglass speaks

Tuesday, May 27, 2003

Liberals need to get a grip

Our elected wartime President, George W. Bush, and his experienced team of foreign policy and defense experts, have made spectacular progress in restoring order to the liberated people of Iraq. After a brief period of liberation celebrations by free Iraqis, similar to the spontaneous demonstrations of gratitude expressed by joyous German civilians to the young American GI’s who liberated Aachen in 1945.

But these successes are being cynically and shamelessly distorted by the sensationalist liberal media, shrill leftist academics, leftist Hollywood elites, and desperate Democrat politicians. Seeking to divide the nation when our adversaries have made war on us, their motives are questionable.

Recent studies by the General Jacob Smith Center for Military-Civil Affairs at the American Enterprise Institute show that the President’s team has developed a dynamic roadmap for success in liberation operations. After correcting the military deficiencies of the failed Clinton administration, which corrupted the fighting spirit of our armed forces in fruitless and unsuccessful “peacekeeping” campaigns in Bosnia, Macedonia, Haiti and Kosovo, American soldiers under the bold leadership of President Bush can undertake future regional operations with confidence, especially if the Terrorists of Tehran refuse to come clean about their connections to Al Qaeda, their weapons of mass destruction, or comply with all future United Nations resolutions, if applicable.

These findings have been verified by veteran combat journalist and celebrated author Jonah Goldberg, embedded with the lead elements of the Heritage Foundation’s elite Balangiga Brigade. “With a few exceptions of vandalism and petty theft,” said Goldberg, “the Battle of Iraq is over.” Goldberg also reported that his unit is spoiling for its next mission.

You liberals better get ready for the next mission, too.

Monday, May 26, 2003

Liberals better start praying

Our elected wartime President has proclaimed today, Memorial Day, as a national Day of Prayer. Across America, at 11:00 local, inspired by the example of our President, partiotic Americans will remember the sacrifices of our soldiers and sailors by devoting a thankful moment of prayer to the Almighty.

Research by the Beverly Russell School of Divinity at the Heritage Foundation has demonstrated the beneficial effects of public piety in developing a healthy and prosperous society. Independent study by noted theologian Jonah Goldberg supports these findings. "Scripture teaches us that prayer coupled with tax cuts will stimulate the American economy and deter international terrorism."

You liberals need some real divine inspiration.

Sunday, May 25, 2003

Liberals are out of touch

Patriotic Americans have overwhelmingly demonstrated their unqualified support of our popular elected wartime President, George W. Bush. President Bush has achieved stunning and historic victories through the successful liberation of Iraq and diplomatic triumph over the corrupt socialist regimes of France and Germany. Domestically, the President has ensured full recovery from the Clinton recession through his bold Jobs and Growth Tax Reconciliation Act of 2003, which will stimulate the great American economy by providing carefully targeted tax relief to those working Americans who can create consumer demand As our President explained his visionary policy, “When people have extra take-home pay, there's greater demand for goods and services. And employers will need more workers to meet that demand.”

In the War on Terror, the terrorists are on the run and President Bush and our fine soldiers are on the hunt. The discovery of mass graves proves the necessity of invading Iraq, and completely discredits those weak liberals who demanded endless inspections just as they whined for endless and unconstitutional recounts after President Bush’s decisive election in 2000.

Now liberals and the media elites are complaining about the administration of liberated Iraq. But recent research by the prestigious Francois Bigot Institute for Civil Administration at the American Enterprise Institute proves that by entrusting the post-war future of Iraq to the proven skills of America’s top corporate institutions and business leaders, President Bush has demonstrated a firm commitment to America’s security and the profitable future of the Iraqi people.

Independent analysis by noted economist Jonah Goldberg fully supports these findings. “The President is bringing his vast experience as a successful businessman, as well as a honorable military veteran, directly to the war front,” said Goldberg. “This administration has wisely deployed the strategic assets of the corporate community in support of a vigorous American foreign policy.”

Liberals can redeem themselves and demonstrate their patriotism here like other good Americans.