snotglass speaks

Saturday, December 28, 2002


Liberals made a great big mess of the whole world

As our elected wartime President, George W. Bush, girds for battle it is important that patriotic Americans consider the post-victory status of Iraq. During the immediate period following the Second World War, liberal do-gooders forced the victorious Allies to embark on a ruinous binge of poorly considered, so-called “democratic” social experiments in the Third World.

Recent studies conducted by the Thomas Sowell School of International Development at the Heritage Foundation have conclusively determined that most of these ill-conceived ventures in liberal social engineering have been an utter failure. Given that almost all non-Western “democracies” that have free-market economies also contain sizeable ethnic minorities of affluent citizens, this objective analysis has clearly demonstrated that the impetuous and unstable populations are often incapable of Western-style self-government.

Independent data collected by noted international sociologist and author Jonah Goldberg confirms these conclusions. “Unlike the homogeneous Western free-market democracies of Belgium, Canada, Spain, and the United States, the post-colonial states in the Third World cannot be expected to implement the complex institutions of the West,” said Goldberg. “We must recognize the cultural limitations of these people.”

You liberals need to tolerate the limitations of others.





Liberals are racists


(Originally published December 7, 2002)


In a direct attack on the overwhelming electoral mandate of America's wartime President, George W. Bush, liberals have resorted to the disgusting trick of playing the race card by deliberately distorting the remarks of Senate majority leader Trent Lott. Senator Lott correctly observed that his home state of Mississippi supported Strom Thurmond's 1948 Presidential campaign.


Recent studies conducted by the prestigious Kenneth J. Schmidt Center for a Color-Blind Society at the Heritage Foundation reveal that the liberal social engineering policies of the have had a profoundly negative national impact by advocating the communist theories of diversity, multi-culturalism and anti-familyism. Further, these liberal policies removed a vital component of our constitutional system of judicial checks and balances by imposing Federal anti-lynching mandates in direct violation of the sacred principle of States' Rights.


Independent research conducted by noted jurist and constitutional scholar Jonah Goldberg reinforces these important findings. "Liberals are in denial," said Goldberg. "Strom Thurmond is a great American conservative in the Reaganesque tradition."


You people should do your homework before you criticize.



Liberals are anti-education


(Originally published November 27, 2002)


Our elected President, George W. Bush is making great strides in fulfilling his solemn campaign promise to be the Education President. Despite the stubborn resistance of obstructionist Democrats and the powerful liberal teachers lobby, President Bush has enjoyed considerable success.


The failed liberal education policies of the Clinton regime have produced a generation of American children unable to function in the modern workplace. Social promotion of illiterate students and the feel-good, self-esteem curriculum forced on public schools by unqualified unionized teachers are a prescription for failure.


But exhaustive research conducted by the eminent Professor Richard Arkwright of the Family Freedom Foundation's Center for Public Education at Liberty University offers a solution to the mass-production education failure of the liberal welfare state. Addressing the problem of children who are often graduated with little real-life economic skills, public schools should be designed to not only give students a basic knowledge of reading, writing and arithmetic, but also produce marketable skills that qualify individual students in the labor force.


Beginning in kindergarten, students should be trained under the close supervision of experts in Industrial Technology, giving them a proven hands-on education in valuable labor skills. This approach, enlightened educators agree, would not only utilize a tested learning device, but would also produce a viable product which could be sold to offset the cost of their education. Participating school districts and their supporting business partners can provide incentives to promising students through corporate sponsored scholastic achievement awards in the form of product placement in the school.


“It’s these kinds of common sense education reforms that have been subverted by a failed generation of liberal dominance in education,” said prominent educator and noted author Jonah Goldberg. “Students have been given copious helpings of useless Wood Shop and Metal Shop training while being denied the character-building discipline of Sweat Shop.”
You people are anti-family and unpatriotic.




Liberals talk too much


(Originally published November 22, 2002)


While weak liberals in Congress and the effete media endlessly debate, President Bush has demonstrated that he is a resolute man of action. Fulfilling his solemn promise to the American people, our elected wartime President George W. Bush has built a mighty coalition of democratic nations to defeat the world terrorist threat posed by the socialist Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein.


Careful analysis by the Phrynichus Institute at the Heritage Foundation shows that the recent anti-terrorist accord negotiated by our world-savvy President Bush and President Putin of Russia offers many security advantages to both sides while preserving our cherished American liberties. Together with the United Nations and NATO solidly committed to unconditional support for American-led liberation of the oppressed people of Iraq, our President has demonstrated that he can fulfill the overwhelming mandate he received from the American people in two elections.


The prestigious geopolitical strategist and best-selling author Jonah Goldberg agreed with this assessment. "By skillfully completing these difficult negotiations, President Bush has brought democracy to Russia, completing the final chapter of the historic Cold War victory begun by President Reagan." Goldberg foresees a new age of American diplomacy and warned other evildoers that America will not tolerate those who abuse the benefits of democracy and liberty.


You people should support our wartime President.




Liberals spread rumors


(Originally published November 18, 2002)


Increasingly desperate liberals, aided by their fellow leftists of the media elite, have recently attempted to perpetuate their disgusting smear campaign against our remarkable elected President, George W. Bush. These unpatriotic so-called "Americans" are questioning the honor and dignity of President Bush by attempting to resurrect the utterly discredited canard that President Bush failed to complete his military service.


However, an exhaustive search of the comprehensive Fawn Hall Archives and Records Repository at The Heritage Foundation has conclusively determined that no documents exist that would substantiate such a scurrilous slander against our elected President and his historic mandate.


Famed military historian and noted author Jonah Goldberg also disputes these unfounded allegations. Goldberg observed that he has read the entire manuscript of the President's celebrated autobiography, "A Charge to Keep" and has found no indication that the President was anything less than a brave, well-trained fighter pilot who was honored for his service to America by receiving promotion from airman basic to Second Lieutenant after less than one day of active duty. "Clearly," said Goldberg, "there is no greater tribute to President Bush's recognized potential as a gifted leader than the accelerated promotion and deferential treatment he received from the Texas Air National Guard."


You liberals should be ashamed of yourselves for slandering a genuine American hero. No conservative would ever sink to such depths.




Liberals complain too much


(Originally published November 15, 2002)


In accordance with his overwhelming mandate, our elected President, George W. Bush has announced long-awaited plans to reduce the size of the bloated liberal welfare state by privatizing a large part of the inefficient and wasteful Federal bureaucracy. However, the President's visionary proposal is being actively opposed by the usual cabal of entrenched liberal media elites, corrupt unions, parasitic trial lawyers and the socialist Barbara Streisand wing of the Democrat party.


Recent studies conducted by the prestigious E. Robert Wallach College of Public Administration at the Heritage Foundation have conclusively demonstrated that the efficiency of the Federal government can be dramatically improved by applying the sound business practices of outsourcing and competition. This groundbreaking study also revealed that the failed policies of the tax-and-spend Clinton administration can be easily corrected by opening contracts for Federal government functions to successful single-source bidders, thereby eliminating the costly and wasteful process of the bid analysis.


Independent research conducted by noted operations research and systems analyst Jonah Goldberg reinforces this view. "It's a win-win situation," Goldberg said. "This proposal will finally eliminate the politically-correct but wasteful practice of awarding contracts to the lowest bidder. That's a system that institutionalizes mediocrity and rewards only the trial lawyers who sue the government for large settlements." Goldberg also points out that competition will bring the magical efficiency of the marketplace to the government sector. By privatizing the Air Traffic Control System, for example, general aviation pilots will have the choice of which tower controller will most efficiently control airspace for the least cost.


Further, by opening the Federal workforce to private outsourcing, the treasury will save untold millions by reducing the needless bureaucratic civil service requirements for overeducated and overqualified Federal workers, who are now recruited straight out of liberal colleges and universities. Millions of jobs can be created for hard-working Americans while ending the wasteful system of liberal welfare for college kids rejected by the private sector.


You liberals are just going to have to live with it.




More failed liberal partisanship


(Originally published October 20, 2002)


Weak European liberals corrupted the stature of the Nobel Prize for Peace by awarding the prize to failed Democrat Jimmy Carter and uttering slanderous libels against our elected President, George W. Bush. Not since the Nobel committee failed to recognize the heroic efforts of Joachim Ribbentrop and V.M. Molotov in preserving peace by preventing Polish aggression has there been such a transparent effort to politicize the Peace Prize.


Through our War on Terrorism, President Bush has presented the world with the best solution to achieve peace and tranquility through the prosperity offered by the free market. Recent historical studies conducted by the Burke and Hare Center for Creative Entrepreneurship at the Heritage Foundation have shown that vigorous military campaigns, followed by humble diplomacy and targeted tax cuts, provide the appropriate model to ensure world stability.


Independent analysis by noted peace activist Jonah Goldberg validates this view. "During World War II the United States, through unilateral action, assembled a coalition of nations that defeated Japan's terrorism and imposed democracy on that country," Goldberg said. "Today, the Japanese political system and strong economy serve as an example that the model works."


You liberals should support our wartime President before it's too late.




Liberals endanger our national security


(Originally published October 4, 2002)


Liberal Democrat radicals in the Senate are unconstitutionally obstructing our elected President, George W. Bush in fulfilling the mandate he was given by an overwhelming majority of the American electorate. Despite the historic speeches, reminiscent of Churchill, Webster and Cicero, our President has given to the American people describing in meticulous detail the intelligence connecting the leftist regime of Saddam Hussein to Al Qaeda and his plans to deploy weapons of mass destruction against the United States, these traitorous Democrat liberals continue to resist the will of our President and endanger the security of America.


The failed but fashionably dressed Democrat candidate Al Gore, in his ridiculous and subversive speech in San Francisco, tried to reinvent himself by stating that there is no need for new resolutions because existing resolutions regarding weapons inspectors are still in effect. But Gore, always a serial prevaricator, did not mention that the discredited Clinton administration had other domestic political problems and ignored UN resolutions. Because of this inaction on the part of the permissive Clinton regime, the UN statute of limitations will shortly expire making new UN resolutions imperative. For the weapons inspection system to operate, the UN must give our elected President, and leader of the Free World, the supreme enforcement authority.


Should the UN fail to act, the President does not need the questionable authority of the UN to protect US interests. But Congress must give our elected President the authority he needs to successfully prosecute the War on Terror by effecting a regime change in Iraq. Obstructionist Democrats must stop consorting with the enemy and performing as paid spokesmen for their ideological brethren in the Iraqi regime, and support the efforts of our elected President.


However, if congressional Democrats persist in their unconstitutional resistance to our elected President, he is free to act in accordance with his electoral mandate. Recent analysis by the Albert T. Beveridge Legal Center at the Heritage Foundation reveals that the President does not need congressional authority to wage just war despite the small print contained in the questionable and archaic documents cited by constitutionally revisionist Democrats. Constitutional scholar Jonah Goldberg agrees with this assessment because President Bush is accountable to a higher authority. God has not been preparing the English-speaking and Teutonic peoples for a thousand years for nothing but vain and idle self-admiration. He has made us the master organizers of the world to establish system where chaos reigns. He has made us adepts in government that we may administer government among savages and senile peoples.


Liberal Democrats have shown they cannot lead. They must follow or get out of the way.


You people should support our elected President.




Liberal traitors


(Originally published October 2, 2002)


Liberal Democrats Jim McDermott and David Bonior have joined Hanoi Jane and Wayne Morse in the American Hall of Shame as unpatriotic socialists who actively subvert the President and give aid and comfort to the enemy during time of war.


Together with their fellow obstructionists and Iraqi-sympathizers in the Democratic-controlled Senate, they are seeking partisan advantage by attempting to distract the American public from the clear and present danger posed by the leftist Iraqi regime. Rather than support the valiant efforts of our elected President, George W. Bush to defend America against the possible imminent use of developing weapons of mass destruction by Saddam Hussein, liberals would rather divert public attention to petty, selfish issues such as the national economy, Social Security, and irresponsible CEO-bashing.


However, recent study by prestigious scholars at the Leopold Galtieri Center for Public Focus at the Cato Institute reveal that such matters are secondary to the security threat posed by Saddam Hussein. Using material provided by the conservative Lysenko Medical Research Foundation, these scholars have determined that Hussein has already unleashed a massive biological warfare campaign against America's precious zoos.


"All Americans, and especially liberals should be appalled," said noted epidemiologist Jonah Goldberg. "It turns out that the West Nile virus is actually a weaponized strain of the South Euphrates Crud." Goldberg emphasized that the attack is particularly insidious because it causes a massive diversion of public resources to protect zoo animals when such funds could be better used for an economically stimulating tax cut.


Radical Democrats refuse to accept personal responsibility for the failed liberal policies of the Clinton regime, which foolishly allowed Hussein to develop and weaponize biological weapons and allowed Iraq to launch an economic attack causing a small spike in unemployment.


You liberals are unpatriotic traitors. You should apologize to our elected President.




Liberals love to blame America first


(Originally published September 21, 2002)


Our elected President, George W. Bush, has demonstrated his firm grasp of foreign policy by issuing his recent policy initiative that provides a sound basis for the conduct of future American diplomacy. Correcting the foolish mistakes of the failed Clinton administration that allowed terrorism to flourish and blemished the honor of America with cynical, wasteful and politically-motivated use of American power, President Bush’s bold and decisive vision for the future will ensure American security and nurture the spread of freedom and democracy throughout the world.


Honoring his solemn campaign promise to conduct American foreign affairs with humility, the President envisions American military power strong enough to take pre-emptive action against hostile states that are developing weapons of mass destruction. Coupled with the tested and proven National Missile Defense system proposed by the President, this strategy will keep the nation strong and vigilant, and ensure appropriate humility in future diplomacy.


Recent research conducted by the Hecate Institute at the Heritage Foundation demonstrated conclusively that President Kennedy’s lack of decisive action despite the clear threat presented by the Cuban Missile Crisis actually prolonged the Cold War and resulted in thirty years of costly military spending.


Independent analysis by noted geopolitical theorist Jonah Goldberg corroborates this view. “An ounce of pre-emptive action in the face of perceived pre-aggression is worth a pound of liberal world-government,” Goldberg wrote in a policy paper presented to seminar at the Skopsy Institute for Conservative Commentary. “Terrorists will be deterred from future attacks on America if we take out Iraq now. And Canada will think twice before they grab another one of our tuna boats.”


Unpatriotic Democrats in Congress should stop their obstructionist and unconstitutional opposition to the President’s clear legal executive authority to demonstrate American resolve to rid the world of the scourge of terrorism by liberating the oppressed people of Iraq. These weak-kneed sisters seem determined to pursue partisan politics, in the face of a demonstrated foreign threat, by continuing to whine about the Clinton recession (actually resolved by the President’s Waco Summit) distorting the President’s position on individual Social Security savings accounts, and demanding higher taxes for their failed social welfare policies.


You liberals need to learn something besides "animal rights" and tree-hugging, and support the wise policies of our elected President, George W. Bush.




Liberals are still soft on crime

(Originally published August 26, 2002)


Our elected, peace-loving President has decisively responded to the repeated provocations of the evil Iraqi regime. Perhaps it is asking too much to expect defeatist liberals to stop poisoning our nation with seditious rhetoric that seriously undermines the overwhelming public support for total war against the Axis of Evil.


Recent analysis by the Valerianus Center for Tactical Leadership at the Heritage Foundation, in conjunction with the Hecate Advisory Council at the American Enterprise Institute, proves conclusively that President Bush's bold and resolute leadership, taking no care who chafes, who frets, or where conspirators are, is precisely the form of guidance this country needs to prosecute the war on terrorism. With the superb advice provided by the President's battle-hardened foreign policy team, Congressional advice is merely meddlesome and superfluous.


Despite the repeated complaining of the Jane Fonda crowd, the President's policy of regime change in Iraq is based on a firm legal and moral foundation. International law must be enforced and lawbreakers prosecuted, or laws become meaningless. In 1990, Saddam Hussein invaded and looted Kuwait, much as a common thief burglarized a residence. Because the statute of limitations on international burglary is about to expire, it is essential to American security and regional stability that the President apprehend Saddam Hussein and restore democracy to oppressed people of Iraq.


The Clinton administration was notoriously soft on international crime, due to the well-documented influence of lobbyists and special-interest groups such as the International Trial and Tyrants' Lawyers Association. Clinton's failure to successfully prosecute Saddam Hussein is directly attributable to liberal policies that tolerate international crime.


You liberals need to support our Constitution and our elected President.




Our elected President’s visionary economic policy


(Originally published August 13, 2002)


Tax and spend liberals have been desperately trying to play the old-style Washington blame game by attributing the recent recession to President Bush's economic policies. But recent reports released by the prestigious Byron ("Low Tax") Looper Center for Public Policy at the American Enterprise Institute demonstrate that Presidential policies actually have little effect on the actual American economy. In spite of this illuminating report, radical Democrats insist on pathetically pursuing the failed and discredited strategy of seeking higher taxes, in the form of repealing the President's visionary tax-cut, in a forlorn hope of instituting bigger government and permanently establishing a socialist welfare state.


In accordance with his overwhelming electoral mandate, President Bush held an economic conference today that, in stark contrast to the exclusionary and secretive schemes of the previous administration, included Americans from all segments of society. This successful forum affirmed the support for the President's economic policies that his poll numbers indicate.


Disgruntled Democrats complained that they had not been invited, but most thoughtful observers realize the President's wisdom in not including those whose policies are directly responsible for the current Clinton recession. The President has evidently decided to make a clean break from the reckless economic policies of the failed Clinton administration that had such a dramatically negative effect on the American economy.


The President had already instituted many far-sighted policies that will stimulate growth in the economy. He has laid a strong foundation by providing tax cuts to the American tax payers and eliminating the wasteful Federal surplus. He has provided a morally honorable and dignified example for American business leaders to emulate, and demonstrated his basic sense of compassion by refusing to bend to the talking heads of the elite liberal media who are demanding unjust retribution for right-thinking corporate executives who were tempted by the promiscuous excesses of the Clinton administration.


In addition to his bold tax-stimulus plan, the President had opened many opportunities to working American families by eliminating the low-paying, dead-end jobs desperately created by the failed policies of the Clinton administration. In this far-reaching stroke, the President has provided motivation for Americans to seek and obtain more and better-paying jobs.


You people should be grateful for such visionary leadership in our elected President. In one afternoon, he has solved the American economic conundrum for decades to come, leaving this administration free to devote its considerable energies to the War on Iraq.





Our elected President is a uniter, not a divider


(Originally published August 11, 2002)


President Bush and his trusted, experienced and savvy foreign policy team have presented a viable alternative to the socialist anti-democratic regime of Saddam Hussein. This breathtaking development, achieved through the direct leadership of our elected President, has removed the last obstacle preventing the liberation of the oppressed Iraqi people.


The President has crafted a rock solid coalition of the Iraqi opposition, consisting of a unified group of Iraqi opposition leaders, including representatives from the two main Kurdish factions, an Iranian-backed Shiite group, a monarchist group, a group that includes former Iraqi military officers and the Iraqi National Congress.


Analysis by the Nguyen Cao Ky Institute at the Heritage Foundation proves that this group of dedicated and public-spirited Iraqis will provide a solid foundation for the construction of democratic institutions in a post-Saddam Hussein Iraq. Independent polling research conducted by noted Middle East expert Jonah Goldberg and Choicepoint, Inc. reveals that the Iraqi opposition enjoys universal public support in Iraq.


The Bush administration foreign team can also draw on the vast experience gained through several weeks of successfully managing the spectacular transition to democratic institutions in Afghanistan.


You liberals need to realize that America will never be safe until the axis of evil is eliminated and replaced by something else.



Liberal Hypocrisy

(Originally published August 9, 2002)


The weak-kneed liberal elites who are now obstructing our constitutionally elected President's vigorous prosecution of the war on terrorism are the same people who encouraged Clinton's disastrous interventionist foreign policy adventures. Under the failed Clinton administration, American foreign policy lurched from aggressive war-mongering in Bosnia and Kosovo, to a whimsical Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty (a radical departure from traditional American arms-control policy fortunately defeated by wise conservatives in the U.S. Senate) to diversionary attacks aimed to distract the American public from the administration's domestic scandals.


By contrast, our President, like his father, has exhibited tremendous skill at constructing an international coalition aimed at defeating terrorism, and at encouraging the peaceful development of a free-market society. Reports from Afghanistan indicate that the administration of Hamid Karzai is achieving tremendous success at transforming that country, together with personal security assistance from American Special Forces personnel.


A recent analysis by the Vikdun Quisling School of Foreign Policy at the American Enterprise Institute revealed that with the assistance of the viable and united Iraqi opposition to Saddam Hussein there is every reason to believe that President Bush's policy of regime change in Iraq will be successful. Independent research conducted by noted foreign policy expert Ann Coulter supports that analysis.


Yet hyperventilating liberals continue to demonstrate their accustomed situational ethics as they carp and complain about the President's bold leadership. Realizing that the American people are united behind our elected President's determination to liberate Iraq, liberals have turned to criticizing and obstructing the President's Homeland Security initiative.


Liberals, assisted by the media elite and the radical pacifists of the left, are trying to twist the President's desire to provide basic security to all Americans into an insidious attack on individual liberties by launching vile personal attacks on General Ashcroft, a patriotic American dedicated to upholding the civil liberty guarantees of the Constitution.


General Ashcroft is valiantly defending the liberties and constitutional safeguards enjoyed by all law-abiding Americans by vigorously prosecuting those evil doers who abuse the intent of the Founding Fathers. As loyal Americans, we must not tolerate the socialists, anarchists and fellow-travelers among us who would attempt to breach the domestic security and tranquility provided by our sacred Bill of Rights. General Ashcroft knows that any penetration, however slight, is sufficient to defile our treasured liberties.


You liberals should support our brave President and General Ashcroft.





Liberals believe in false gods

(Originally published August 5, 2002)

Al Gore, the failed Democratic Party candidate in 2000, took a break from fund raising at a Buddhist temple to write a stiff, wordy article complaining about the ozone layer and inciting class warfare by using inflammatory rhetoric, social security scare tactics and cheap marketing gimmicks, assisted by bearded trial lawyers and the liberal media elites dressed in earth tones.


Our elected President is valiantly rallying the country to liberate the oppressed people of Iraq. The liberal media, assisted by opportunistic socialist politicians, is trying to smear him and obstruct the will of the American people by twisting the President's words and meanings. In the latest example of media spin, the President's words, spoken to King Abdullah, have been taken out of context and parsed by the liberal talking heads of cable TV.


As a devout and pious man of faith, the President has a constitutionally guaranteed freedom to call every other religion "false." Recent studies released by the Elmer Gantry School of Divinity at Hillsdale College reveal that Hell is populated entirely by believers in false religions. Noted theologian Jonah Goldberg has also stated that the President, as a duly elected protector of the constitutional Freedom to Worship, has a moral obligation to ensure that all Americans to exercise their freedom to worship and contribute their tithes at a church representing a true religion.

Our country is engaged in a struggle with the forces of evil, which often masquerades as a false religion. You liberals should be grateful that our elected President has the divine acumen to perceive and shared the revealed truth.






Liberals are a drag on the economy

(Originally published August 1, 2002)

Unpatriotic liberals in the Senate have been unconstitutionally obstructing our elected President's brave efforts to protect America by extending the War on Terror to its source in Iraq, and the liberal media has been whining about the potential costs of liberating Iraq.
While the sniveling left-wing crybabies in both the Senate and the liberal press fail to address the costs of allowing Saddam Hussein to continue his international scheme of mass terror, recent studies released by the Francesco Sforza Defense Policy Institute at the Heritage Foundation have concluded that vigorous prosecution of an active defense policy could provide a substantial economic stimulus to offset the failed fiscal policies of the Clinton administration.

Independent research conducted by noted military historian Jonah Goldberg reveals that operations conducted by great commanders such as Henry Morgan and Francis Drake made military campaigns both victorious and profitable. Coupled with targeted tax cuts, a war with Iraq can provide a much-needed boost to the government output sector of the Gross Domestic Product. Since this sector normally constitutes a negative impact on the economy, profitable military operations will have a drastic effect on both the market and on unemployment.

You liberals need to support our elected President.


Putting the situation in perspective for liberals

(Originally published July 25, 2002)

In wartime, this nation needs strong leadership to overcome the perils posed by foreign terrorists. Congressional meddling, especially from obstructionist liberals in the Senate, detracts from the war effort and our elected President needs the authority to expedite security matters without unconstitutional interference from members of Congress.

President Bush has already substantially changed the tone in Washington, transforming that Babylon on the Potomac into a temple of moral consistency. He has imported an important tool from the business community, the Leadership Principle, to guide his efforts. This mechanism, first explored and implemented by the efficient and methodical Germans, eliminates extraneous distractions and focuses the entire effort of an organization on solving the problem at hand.

The problems at the Transportation Safety Administration provide a perfect example. First, the congressional socialists imposed an unrealistic and unnecessary mission on this agency: to ensure airline passenger safety. They did this without consulting any of the experts in this field, such as the current airline security companies who have historically provided America's first defense against airline terrorism. The congressional liberals imposed socialist agenda requirements, such as making employees of these agencies Federal workers subject to arbitrary hiring, security and training guidelines, in spite of the fact that such requirements represent a manifestation of creeping communism. President Bush needs authority to be free from such congressional meddling so he can concentrate on the fight against terrorism instead of being constricted by pettifogging congressional liberals who are more concerned with pursuing the unconstitutional gay and lesbian agenda through airport security legislation than by expanding the power of the Federal government to prevent terrorist attacks in the future.

Recent studies conducted by the Heritage Foundation's Charles Coughlin Center for Applied Democracy prove that the Leadership Principle in an essential element in fighting terrorism and ensuring the liberty of all patriotic Americans.

You people should renounce your un-American attitudes and support the efforts of our President.



Liberals are unpatriotic

(Originally published July 24, 2002)

Our President, George W. Bush, has been waging war against the evil forces of foreign terrorism that attacked us on September 11th. Under his leadership and despite the desperate hand-wringing of the socialist left, the war has progressed well, with victories that bring us within measurable distance of its end.

Economically, the President has enacted bold policies to end the excesses of the Clinton administration. Research conducted by the prestigious Robert Vesco School of Business Ethics at the American Enterprise Institute has conclusively demonstrated that the recent business scandals are directly attributable to the immoral permissiveness of the Clinton years. Noted economist Jonah Goldberg has also released findings that indicate poor Presidential leadership impacts directly on market performance.
Many uninformed Marxist liberal ideologues have criticized SEC Chairman Harvey Pitt's recent request for additional compensation. Unfortunately, this criticism is unsound and merely a typical liberal knee-jerk reaction to market economics. Government service must be made financially attractive in order to obtain top-flight talent from the private sector. Chairman Pitt has the unique mission to downsize a wasteful government bureaucracy, and he should be rewarded by passing the savings realized into his personal compensation package.

This is the time-tested executive compensation model that has proven itself effective in the private sector, and it should be adopted by Federal government.

You liberals should support our fine public servants.




Knee-jerk liberals aren’t paying attention

(Originally published May 30, 2002)

Our elected President and his brother, the popular governor of Florida, are both proven reformers with results. Reforming the bloated bureaucracies of state and federal welfare services means placing more resources into the hands of private faith-based charitable organizations.

Studies conducted by the prestigious James Bakker School of Divinity at the American Enterprise Institute have proven conclusively that faith-based organizations can provide social services far more efficiently than the failed liberal welfare state. Independent research conducted by noted sociologist Jonah Goldberg has directly linked the efficiency of faith-based charitable organizations to the compensation packages provided to their executive leadership. Both studies cited the recent scandals in the Catholic Church, which employs minimum-wage clerics, and noted that faiths with executive bonus plans exhibit less scandal. Non-profit faith-based charities must offer competitive compensation in order to attract and retain quality leadership.

Rather than solicit private contributions to support failed liberal welfare bureaucrats, the state should provide targeted tax cuts to those citizens able to make generous contributions to socially-conscious conservative politicians while redirecting state revenue to compassionate and efficient faith-based charities.

You people need to re-assess your core values.




President Bush exercises leadership

(Originally published May 21, 2002)

Uninformed liberals have failed to recognize the dynamic leadership of Team Bush. President Bush has followed the wise guidance of foreign policy experts Condoleeza Rice, Paul Wolfowitz and Karl Rove, who have advised the President to be bloody, bold and resolute and to take no care who chafes, who frets, or where conspirers are.

According to research conducted by the Admiral Kimmel Institute for Accurate Intelligence at the Heritage Foundation, Saddam Hussein represents the greatest threat to American security since President Ronald Reagan's victorious conclusion of the Cold War.

Independent data collected by noted strategist Jonah Goldberg confirms that the failed policies of the previous administration allowed Iraq to develop a substantial terrorist network armed with weapons of mass destruction. "After eight years of Presidential disengagement in the foreign policy arena by the failed Clinton administration" said Goldberg, "it is hardly surprising that Europeans require the strong leadership skills of President Bush to forge a coalition against terrorism. The weak European public and their politicians have never had to contend with the specter of terrorism in their own countries in the same way as President Bush. President Bush is exercising leadership. That's what a leader does."

You people should be ashamed of your unpatriotic attitudes.



Liberal media is wrong again

(Originally published May 7, 2002)

Reliable sources close to the investigation have linked suspected pipe bomber Luke John Helder directly to the leftist regime of Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. According to intelligence analysts at the respected James J. Angleton Center for Applied Sleuthing at the Heritage Foundation, Helder met with agents of the Iraqi intelligence service in the Czech Republic late last year to discuss plans to disrupt the American postal grid in preparation for an Iraqi invasion of the American Midwest. Together with experts from North Korea and Iran, the Iraqi agents developed an elaborate deep-cover plan for Helder to disguise his activities as the work of a domestic anti-government Christian fundamentalist.

Additional research conducted by noted international strategist Jonah Goldberg revealed that Helder is also a graduate of the Al-Aqsa Martyr's Brigade advanced explosives course. However, Goldberg cautioned, Helder missed the last seminar in the course. This analysis was confirmed by sources close to Ariel Sharon, who said that Helder had already applied for a next-of-kin beneficiary pension under the Saudi Terrorists' Bill of Rights.

In the wake of these revelations, defense policy experts at the American Enterprise Institute said this incident confirms the justification for an immediate campaign to liberate the Iraqi people and free the world from the threat of Iraqi pipe bombs of mass destruction. In the long term, however, the experts also said that only early deployment of a National Missile Defense system would ensure American domestic security in the face of wide-spread pipe-bomb technology sponsored by rogue states.

Respected economists at the Evergreen Freedom Foundation and the Club for Growth called for tax cuts to provide stimulus to the economically critical home security and rural mailbox protection industries.

You people should research credible sources of information before you speculate.




Liberal media ignores the benefits of our elected President’s unemployment policy

(Originally published May 5, 2002)

The liberal media has focused attention on the latest unemployment figures while ignoring the more important story. Recent studies conducted by the authoritative Vodun School of Economics at the American Enterprise Institute reveal that, contrary to the sensationalized and speculative tales published by the liberal media, the American economy is poised to expand exponentially as a direct result of the dynamic economic stimulus provided by President Bush's visionary program of targeted tax cuts.

This ground-breaking study, virtually ignored by the uninformed and politicized popular press, is fully supported by collateral data collected by noted economist Jonah Goldberg. After years of stagnation due to the failed economic policies of the previous administration, President Bush's elite economic team developed a comprehensive plan to end the Clinton recession.

Relying on input from successful leaders of the business community, the President's far-sighted plan re-directed surplus funds from the bloated Federal government to top corporations and the neediest segment of the American electorate. Aside from the noble philanthropic aspects of this policy, re-directing these funds has provided an immense pool of capital in the private sector from which the Federal treasury can borrow in times of war and recession.

The liberal media exaggerates the negative effects of unemployment and suppresses the positive aspects. According to prize-winning economic theorist John Carlson of the Evergreen Freedom Foundation, unemployment is a certain indicator of imminent commercial expansion and exerts a positive influence on the remaining labor force by stimulating individual worker productivity. Knee-jerk limousine liberals have long failed to recognize the value of moderate unemployment rates as an economic force multiplier.

You people should be grateful for the economic wisdom of our elected President.



Wednesday, December 25, 2002


Liberal media ignores the benefits of our elected President’s unemployment policy

by snotty (Originally published May 5, 2002)

The liberal media has focused attention on the latest unemployment figures while ignoring the more important story. Recent studies conducted by the authoritative Vodun School of Economics at the American Enterprise Institute reveal that, contrary to the sensationalized and speculative tales published by the liberal media, the American economy is poised to expand exponentially as a direct result of the dynamic economic stimulus provided by President Bush's visionary program of targeted tax cuts.

This ground-breaking study, virtually ignored by the uninformed and politicized popular press, is fully supported by collateral data collected by noted economist Jonah Goldberg. After years of stagnation due to the failed economic policies of the previous administration, President Bush's elite economic team developed a comprehensive plan to end the Clinton recession.

Relying on input from successful leaders of the business community, the President's far-sighted plan re-directed surplus funds from the bloated Federal government to top corporations and the neediest segment of the American electorate. Aside from the noble philanthropic aspects of this policy, re-directing these funds has provided an immense pool of capital in the private sector from which the Federal treasury can borrow in times of war and recession.

The liberal media exaggerates the negative effects of unemployment and suppresses the positive aspects. According to prize-winning economic theorist John Carlson of the Evergreen Freedom Foundation, unemployment is a certain indicator of imminent commercial expansion and exerts a positive influence on the remaining labor force by stimulating individual worker productivity. Knee-jerk limousine liberals have long failed to recognize the value of moderate unemployment rates as an economic force multiplier.

You people should be grateful for the economic wisdom of our elected President.


Liberal media is wrong again

by snotty (Originally published May 7, 2002)

Reliable sources close to the investigation have linked suspected pipe bomber Luke John Helder directly to the leftist regime of Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. According to intelligence analysts at the respected James J. Angleton Center for Applied Sleuthing at the Heritage Foundation, Helder met with agents of the Iraqi intelligence service in the Czech Republic late last year to discuss plans to disrupt the American postal grid in preparation for an Iraqi invasion of the American Midwest. Together with experts from North Korea and Iran, the Iraqi agents developed an elaborate deep-cover plan for Helder to disguise his activities as the work of a domestic anti-government Christian fundamentalist.

Additional research conducted by noted international strategist Jonah Goldberg revealed that Helder is also a graduate of the Al-Aqsa Martyr's Brigade advanced explosives course. However, Goldberg cautioned, Helder missed the last seminar in the course. This analysis was confirmed by sources close to Ariel Sharon, who said that Helder had already applied for a next-of-kin beneficiary pension under the Saudi Terrorists' Bill of Rights.

In the wake of these revelations, defense policy experts at the American Enterprise Institute said this incident confirms the justification for an immediate campaign to liberate the Iraqi people and free the world from the threat of Iraqi pipe bombs of mass destruction. In the long term, however, the experts also said that only early deployment of a National Missile Defense system would ensure American domestic security in the face of wide-spread pipe-bomb technology sponsored by rogue states.

Respected economists at the Evergreen Freedom Foundation and the Club for Growth called for tax cuts to provide stimulus to the economically critical home security and rural mailbox protection industries.

You people should research credible sources of information before you speculate.



President Bush exercises leadership

by snotty (Originally published May 21, 2002)

Uninformed liberals have failed to recognize the dynamic leadership of Team Bush. President Bush has followed the wise guidance of foreign policy experts Condoleeza Rice, Paul Wolfowitz and Karl Rove, who have advised the President to be bloody, bold and resolute and to take no care who chafes, who frets, or where conspirers are.

According to research conducted by the Admiral Kimmel Institute for Accurate Intelligence at the Heritage Foundation, Saddam Hussein represents the greatest threat to American security since President Ronald Reagan's victorious conclusion of the Cold War.

Independent data collected by noted strategist Jonah Goldberg confirms that the failed policies of the previous administration allowed Iraq to develop a substantial terrorist network armed with weapons of mass destruction. "After eight years of Presidential disengagement in the foreign policy arena by the failed Clinton administration" said Goldberg, "it is hardly surprising that Europeans require the strong leadership skills of President Bush to forge a coalition against terrorism. The weak European public and their politicians have never had to contend with the specter of terrorism in their own countries in the same way as President Bush. President Bush is exercising leadership. That's what a leader does."

You people should be ashamed of your unpatriotic attitudes.


Knee-jerk liberals aren’t paying attention

by snotty (Originally published May 30, 2002)

Our elected President and his brother, the popular governor of Florida, are both proven reformers with results. Reforming the bloated bureaucracies of state and federal welfare services means placing more resources into the hands of private faith-based charitable organizations.

Studies conducted by the prestigious James Bakker School of Divinity at the American Enterprise Institute have proven conclusively that faith-based organizations can provide social services far more efficiently than the failed liberal welfare state. Independent research conducted by noted sociologist Jonah Goldberg has directly linked the efficiency of faith-based charitable organizations to the compensation packages provided to their executive leadership. Both studies cited the recent scandals in the Catholic Church, which employs minimum-wage clerics, and noted that faiths with executive bonus plans exhibit less scandal. Non-profit faith-based charities must offer competitive compensation in order to attract and retain quality leadership.

Rather than solicit private contributions to support failed liberal welfare bureaucrats, the state should provide targeted tax cuts to those citizens able to make generous contributions to socially-conscious conservative politicians while redirecting state revenue to compassionate and efficient faith-based charities.

You people need to re-assess your core values.



Liberals are unpatriotic

by snotty (Originally published July 24, 2002)

Our President, George W. Bush, has been waging war against the evil forces of foreign terrorism that attacked us on September 11th. Under his leadership and despite the desperate hand-wringing of the socialist left, the war has progressed well, with victories that bring us within measurable distance of its end.

Economically, the President has enacted bold policies to end the excesses of the Clinton administration. Research conducted by the prestigious Robert Vesco School of Business Ethics at the American Enterprise Institute has conclusively demonstrated that the recent business scandals are directly attributable to the immoral permissiveness of the Clinton years. Noted economist Jonah Goldberg has also released findings that indicate poor Presidential leadership impacts directly on market performance.
Many uninformed Marxist liberal ideologues have criticized SEC Chairman Harvey Pitt's recent request for additional compensation. Unfortunately, this criticism is unsound and merely a typical liberal knee-jerk reaction to market economics. Government service must be made financially attractive in order to obtain top-flight talent from the private sector. Chairman Pitt has the unique mission to downsize a wasteful government bureaucracy, and he should be rewarded by passing the savings realized into his personal compensation package.

This is the time-tested executive compensation model that has proven itself effective in the private sector, and it should be adopted by Federal government.

You liberals should support our fine public servants.



Putting the situation in perspective for liberals

by snotty (Originally published July 25, 2002)

In wartime, this nation needs strong leadership to overcome the perils posed by foreign terrorists. Congressional meddling, especially from obstructionist liberals in the Senate, detracts from the war effort and our elected President needs the authority to expedite security matters without unconstitutional interference from members of Congress.

President Bush has already substantially changed the tone in Washington, transforming that Babylon on the Potomac into a temple of moral consistency. He has imported an important tool from the business community, the Leadership Principle, to guide his efforts. This mechanism, first explored and implemented by the efficient and methodical Germans, eliminates extraneous distractions and focuses the entire effort of an organization on solving the problem at hand.

The problems at the Transportation Safety Administration provide a perfect example. First, the congressional socialists imposed an unrealistic and unnecessary mission on this agency: to ensure airline passenger safety. They did this without consulting any of the experts in this field, such as the current airline security companies who have historically provided America's first defense against airline terrorism. The congressional liberals imposed socialist agenda requirements, such as making employees of these agencies Federal workers subject to arbitrary hiring, security and training guidelines, in spite of the fact that such requirements represent a manifestation of creeping communism. President Bush needs authority to be free from such congressional meddling so he can concentrate on the fight against terrorism instead of being constricted by pettifogging congressional liberals who are more concerned with pursuing the unconstitutional gay and lesbian agenda through airport security legislation than by expanding the power of the Federal government to prevent terrorist attacks in the future.

Recent studies conducted by the Heritage Foundation's Charles Coughlin Center for Applied Democracy prove that the Leadership Principle in an essential element in fighting terrorism and ensuring the liberty of all patriotic Americans.

You people should renounce your un-American attitudes and support the efforts of our President.



Liberals are a drag on the economy

by snotty (Originally published August 1, 2002)

Unpatriotic liberals in the Senate have been unconstitutionally obstructing our elected President's brave efforts to protect America by extending the War on Terror to its source in Iraq, and the liberal media has been whining about the potential costs of liberating Iraq.
While the sniveling left-wing crybabies in both the Senate and the liberal press fail to address the costs of allowing Saddam Hussein to continue his international scheme of mass terror, recent studies released by the Francesco Sforza Defense Policy Institute at the Heritage Foundation have concluded that vigorous prosecution of an active defense policy could provide a substantial economic stimulus to offset the failed fiscal policies of the Clinton administration.

Independent research conducted by noted military historian Jonah Goldberg reveals that operations conducted by great commanders such as Henry Morgan and Francis Drake made military campaigns both victorious and profitable. Coupled with targeted tax cuts, a war with Iraq can provide a much-needed boost to the government output sector of the Gross Domestic Product. Since this sector normally constitutes a negative impact on the economy, profitable military operations will have a drastic effect on both the market and on unemployment.

You liberals need to support our elected President.



Liberals believe in false gods

by snotty (Originally published August 5, 2002)

Al Gore, the failed Democratic Party candidate in 2000, took a break from fund raising at a Buddhist temple to write a stiff, wordy article complaining about the ozone layer and inciting class warfare by using inflammatory rhetoric, social security scare tactics and cheap marketing gimmicks, assisted by bearded trial lawyers and the liberal media elites dressed in earth tones.

Our elected President is valiantly rallying the country to liberate the oppressed people of Iraq. The liberal media, assisted by opportunistic socialist politicians, is trying to smear him and obstruct the will of the American people by twisting the President's words and meanings. In the latest example of media spin, the President's words, spoken to King Abdullah, have been taken out of context and parsed by the liberal talking heads of cable TV.

As a devout and pious man of faith, the President has a constitutionally guaranteed freedom to call every other religion "false." Recent studies released by the Elmer Gantry School of Divinity at Hillsdale College reveal that Hell is populated entirely by believers in false religions. Noted theologian Jonah Goldberg has also stated that the President, as a duly elected protector of the constitutional Freedom to Worship, has a moral obligation to ensure that all Americans to exercise their freedom to worship and contribute their tithes at a church representing a true religion.

Our country is engaged in a struggle with the forces of evil, which often masquerades as a false religion. You liberals should be grateful that our elected President has the divine acumen to perceive and shared the revealed truth.




Liberal Hypocrisy

by snotty (Originally published August 9, 2002)

The weak-kneed liberal elites who are now obstructing our constitutionally elected President's vigorous prosecution of the war on terrorism are the same people who encouraged Clinton's disastrous interventionist foreign policy adventures. Under the failed Clinton administration, American foreign policy lurched from aggressive war-mongering in Bosnia and Kosovo, to a whimsical Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty (a radical departure from traditional American arms-control policy fortunately defeated by wise conservatives in the U.S. Senate) to diversionary attacks aimed to distract the American public from the administration's domestic scandals.

By contrast, our President, like his father, has exhibited tremendous skill at constructing an international coalition aimed at defeating terrorism, and at encouraging the peaceful development of a free-market society. Reports from Afghanistan indicate that the administration of Hamid Karzai is achieving tremendous success at transforming that country, together with personal security assistance from American Special Forces personnel.

A recent analysis by the Vikdun Quisling School of Foreign Policy at the American Enterprise Institute revealed that with the assistance of the viable and united Iraqi opposition to Saddam Hussein there is every reason to believe that President Bush's policy of regime change in Iraq will be successful. Independent research conducted by noted foreign policy expert Ann Coulter supports that analysis.

Yet hyperventilating liberals continue to demonstrate their accustomed situational ethics as they carp and complain about the President's bold leadership. Realizing that the American people are united behind our elected President's determination to liberate Iraq, liberals have turned to criticizing and obstructing the President's Homeland Security initiative.

Liberals, assisted by the media elite and the radical pacifists of the left, are trying to twist the President's desire to provide basic security to all Americans into an insidious attack on individual liberties by launching vile personal attacks on General Ashcroft, a patriotic American dedicated to upholding the civil liberty guarantees of the Constitution.

General Ashcroft is valiantly defending the liberties and constitutional safeguards enjoyed by all law-abiding Americans by vigorously prosecuting those evil doers who abuse the intent of the Founding Fathers. As loyal Americans, we must not tolerate the socialists, anarchists and fellow-travelers among us who would attempt to breach the domestic security and tranquility provided by our sacred Bill of Rights. General Ashcroft knows that any penetration, however slight, is sufficient to defile our treasured liberties.

You liberals should support our brave President and General Ashcroft.


Our elected President is a uniter, not a divider

By snotty (Originally published August 11, 2002)

President Bush and his trusted, experienced and savvy foreign policy team have presented a viable alternative to the socialist anti-democratic regime of Saddam Hussein. This breathtaking development, achieved through the direct leadership of our elected President, has removed the last obstacle preventing the liberation of the oppressed Iraqi people.

The President has crafted a rock solid coalition of the Iraqi opposition, consisting of a unified group of Iraqi opposition leaders, including representatives from the two main Kurdish factions, an Iranian-backed Shiite group, a monarchist group, a group that includes former Iraqi military officers and the Iraqi National Congress.

Analysis by the Nguyen Cao Ky Institute at the Heritage Foundation proves that this group of dedicated and public-spirited Iraqis will provide a solid foundation for the construction of democratic institutions in a post-Saddam Hussein Iraq. Independent polling research conducted by noted Middle East expert Jonah Goldberg and Choicepoint, Inc. reveals that the Iraqi opposition enjoys universal public support in Iraq.

The Bush administration foreign team can also draw on the vast experience gained through several weeks of successfully managing the spectacular transition to democratic institutions in Afghanistan.

You liberals need to realize that America will never be safe until the axis of evil is eliminated and replaced by something else.




Our elected President’s visionary economic policy

by snotty (Originally published August 13, 2002)

Tax and spend liberals have been desperately trying to play the old-style Washington blame game by attributing the recent recession to President Bush's economic policies. But recent reports released by the prestigious Byron ("Low Tax") Looper Center for Public Policy at the American Enterprise Institute demonstrate that Presidential policies actually have little effect on the actual American economy. In spite of this illuminating report, radical Democrats insist on pathetically pursuing the failed and discredited strategy of seeking higher taxes, in the form of repealing the President's visionary tax-cut, in a forlorn hope of instituting bigger government and permanently establishing a socialist welfare state.

In accordance with his overwhelming electoral mandate, President Bush held an economic conference today that, in stark contrast to the exclusionary and secretive schemes of the previous administration, included Americans from all segments of society. This successful forum affirmed the support for the President's economic policies that his poll numbers indicate.

Disgruntled Democrats complained that they had not been invited, but most thoughtful observers realize the President's wisdom in not including those whose policies are directly responsible for the current Clinton recession. The President has evidently decided to make a clean break from the reckless economic policies of the failed Clinton administration that had such a dramatically negative effect on the American economy.

The President had already instituted many far-sighted policies that will stimulate growth in the economy. He has laid a strong foundation by providing tax cuts to the American tax payers and eliminating the wasteful Federal surplus. He has provided a morally honorable and dignified example for American business leaders to emulate, and demonstrated his basic sense of compassion by refusing to bend to the talking heads of the elite liberal media who are demanding unjust retribution for right-thinking corporate executives who were tempted by the promiscuous excesses of the Clinton administration.

In addition to his bold tax-stimulus plan, the President had opened many opportunities to working American families by eliminating the low-paying, dead-end jobs desperately created by the failed policies of the Clinton administration. In this far-reaching stroke, the President has provided motivation for Americans to seek and obtain more and better-paying jobs.

You people should be grateful for such visionary leadership in our elected President. In one afternoon, he has solved the American economic conundrum for decades to come, leaving this administration free to devote its considerable energies to the War on Iraq.



Liberals are still soft on crime

by snotty (Originally published August 26, 2002)

Our elected, peace-loving President has decisively responded to the repeated provocations of the evil Iraqi regime. Perhaps it is asking too much to expect defeatist liberals to stop poisoning our nation with seditious rhetoric that seriously undermines the overwhelming public support for total war against the Axis of Evil.

Recent analysis by the Valerianus Center for Tactical Leadership at the Heritage Foundation, in conjunction with the Hecate Advisory Council at the American Enterprise Institute, proves conclusively that President Bush's bold and resolute leadership, taking no care who chafes, who frets, or where conspirators are, is precisely the form of guidance this country needs to prosecute the war on terrorism. With the superb advice provided by the President's battle-hardened foreign policy team, Congressional advice is merely meddlesome and superfluous.

Despite the repeated complaining of the Jane Fonda crowd, the President's policy of regime change in Iraq is based on a firm legal and moral foundation. International law must be enforced and lawbreakers prosecuted, or laws become meaningless. In 1990, Saddam Hussein invaded and looted Kuwait, much as a common thief burglarized a residence. Because the statute of limitations on international burglary is about to expire, it is essential to American security and regional stability that the President apprehend Saddam Hussein and restore democracy to oppressed people of Iraq.

The Clinton administration was notoriously soft on international crime, due to the well-documented influence of lobbyists and special-interest groups such as the International Trial and Tyrants' Lawyers Association. Clinton's failure to successfully prosecute Saddam Hussein is directly attributable to liberal policies that tolerate international crime.

You liberals need to support our Constitution and our elected President.





Liberals love to blame America first

by snotty (originally published September 21, 2002)

Our elected President, George W. Bush, has demonstrated his firm grasp of foreign policy by issuing his recent policy initiative that provides a sound basis for the conduct of future American diplomacy. Correcting the foolish mistakes of the failed Clinton administration that allowed terrorism to flourish and blemished the honor of America with cynical, wasteful and politically-motivated use of American power, President Bush’s bold and decisive vision for the future will ensure American security and nurture the spread of freedom and democracy throughout the world.

Honoring his solemn campaign promise to conduct American foreign affairs with humility, the President envisions American military power strong enough to take pre-emptive action against hostile states that are developing weapons of mass destruction. Coupled with the tested and proven National Missile Defense system proposed by the President, this strategy will keep the nation strong and vigilant, and ensure appropriate humility in future diplomacy.

Recent research conducted by the Hecate Institute at the Heritage Foundation demonstrated conclusively that President Kennedy’s lack of decisive action despite the clear threat presented by the Cuban Missile Crisis actually prolonged the Cold War and resulted in thirty years of costly military spending.

Independent analysis by noted geopolitical theorist Jonah Goldberg corroborates this view. “An ounce of pre-emptive action in the face of perceived pre-aggression is worth a pound of liberal world-government,” Goldberg wrote in a policy paper presented to seminar at the Skopsy Institute for Conservative Commentary. “Terrorists will be deterred from future attacks on America if we take out Iraq now. And Canada will think twice before they grab another one of our tuna boats.”

Unpatriotic Democrats in Congress should stop their obstructionist and unconstitutional opposition to the President’s clear legal executive authority to demonstrate American resolve to rid the world of the scourge of terrorism by liberating the oppressed people of Iraq. These weak-kneed sisters seem determined to pursue partisan politics, in the face of a demonstrated foreign threat, by continuing to whine about the Clinton recession (actually resolved by the President’s Waco Summit) distorting the President’s position on individual Social Security savings accounts, and demanding higher taxes for their failed social welfare policies.

You liberals need to learn something besides "animal rights" and tree-hugging, and support the wise policies of our elected President, George W. Bush.


Liberal traitors

by snotty (originally published October 2, 2002)

Liberal Democrats Jim McDermott and David Bonior have joined Hanoi Jane and Wayne Morse in the American Hall of Shame as unpatriotic socialists who actively subvert the President and give aid and comfort to the enemy during time of war.

Together with their fellow obstructionists and Iraqi-sympathizers in the Democratic-controlled Senate, they are seeking partisan advantage by attempting to distract the American public from the clear and present danger posed by the leftist Iraqi regime. Rather than support the valiant efforts of our elected President, George W. Bush to defend America against the possible imminent use of developing weapons of mass destruction by Saddam Hussein, liberals would rather divert public attention to petty, selfish issues such as the national economy, Social Security, and irresponsible CEO-bashing.

However, recent study by prestigious scholars at the Leopold Galtieri Center for Public Focus at the Cato Institute reveal that such matters are secondary to the security threat posed by Saddam Hussein. Using material provided by the conservative Lysenko Medical Research Foundation, these scholars have determined that Hussein has already unleashed a massive biological warfare campaign against America's precious zoos.

"All Americans, and especially liberals should be appalled," said noted epidemiologist Jonah Goldberg. "It turns out that the West Nile virus is actually a weaponized strain of the South Euphrates Crud." Goldberg emphasized that the attack is particularly insidious because it causes a massive diversion of public resources to protect zoo animals when such funds could be better used for an economically stimulating tax cut.

Radical Democrats refuse to accept personal responsibility for the failed liberal policies of the Clinton regime, which foolishly allowed Hussein to develop and weaponize biological weapons and allowed Iraq to launch an economic attack causing a small spike in unemployment.

You liberals are unpatriotic traitors. You should apologize to our elected President.


Liberals endanger our national security

by snotty (Originally published October 4, 2002)

Liberal Democrat radicals in the Senate are unconstitutionally obstructing our elected President, George W. Bush in fulfilling the mandate he was given by an overwhelming majority of the American electorate. Despite the historic speeches, reminiscent of Churchill, Webster and Cicero, our President has given to the American people describing in meticulous detail the intelligence connecting the leftist regime of Saddam Hussein to Al Qaeda and his plans to deploy weapons of mass destruction against the United States, these traitorous Democrat liberals continue to resist the will of our President and endanger the security of America.

The failed but fashionably dressed Democrat candidate Al Gore, in his ridiculous and subversive speech in San Francisco, tried to reinvent himself by stating that there is no need for new resolutions because existing resolutions regarding weapons inspectors are still in effect. But Gore, always a serial prevaricator, did not mention that the discredited Clinton administration had other domestic political problems and ignored UN resolutions. Because of this inaction on the part of the permissive Clinton regime, the UN statute of limitations will shortly expire making new UN resolutions imperative. For the weapons inspection system to operate, the UN must give our elected President, and leader of the Free World, the supreme enforcement authority.

Should the UN fail to act, the President does not need the questionable authority of the UN to protect US interests. But Congress must give our elected President the authority he needs to successfully prosecute the War on Terror by effecting a regime change in Iraq. Obstructionist Democrats must stop consorting with the enemy and performing as paid spokesmen for their ideological brethren in the Iraqi regime, and support the efforts of our elected President.

However, if congressional Democrats persist in their unconstitutional resistance to our elected President, he is free to act in accordance with his electoral mandate. Recent analysis by the Albert T. Beveridge Legal Center at the Heritage Foundation reveals that the President does not need congressional authority to wage just war despite the small print contained in the questionable and archaic documents cited by constitutionally revisionist Democrats. Constitutional scholar Jonah Goldberg agrees with this assessment because President Bush is accountable to a higher authority. God has not been preparing the English-speaking and Teutonic peoples for a thousand years for nothing but vain and idle self-admiration. He has made us the master organizers of the world to establish system where chaos reigns. He has made us adepts in government that we may administer government among savages and senile peoples.

Liberal Democrats have shown they cannot lead. They must follow or get out of the way.

You people should support our elected President.


More failed liberal partisanship

by snotty (Originally published October 20, 2002)

Weak European liberals corrupted the stature of the Nobel Prize for Peace by awarding the prize to failed Democrat Jimmy Carter and uttering slanderous libels against our elected President, George W. Bush. Not since the Nobel committee failed to recognize the heroic efforts of Joachim Ribbentrop and V.M. Molotov in preserving peace by preventing Polish aggression has there been such a transparent effort to politicize the Peace Prize.

Through our War on Terrorism, President Bush has presented the world with the best solution to achieve peace and tranquility through the prosperity offered by the free market. Recent historical studies conducted by the Burke and Hare Center for Creative Entrepreneurship at the Heritage Foundation have shown that vigorous military campaigns, followed by humble diplomacy and targeted tax cuts, provide the appropriate model to ensure world stability.

Independent analysis by noted peace activist Jonah Goldberg validates this view. "During World War II the United States, through unilateral action, assembled a coalition of nations that defeated Japan's terrorism and imposed democracy on that country," Goldberg said. "Today, the Japanese political system and strong economy serve as an example that the model works."

You liberals should support our wartime President before it's too late.



Liberals complain too much

by snotty (Originally published November 15, 2002)

In accordance with his overwhelming mandate, our elected President, George W. Bush has announced long-awaited plans to reduce the size of the bloated liberal welfare state by privatizing a large part of the inefficient and wasteful Federal bureaucracy. However, the President's visionary proposal is being actively opposed by the usual cabal of entrenched liberal media elites, corrupt unions, parasitic trial lawyers and the socialist Barbara Streisand wing of the Democrat party.

Recent studies conducted by the prestigious E. Robert Wallach College of Public Administration at the Heritage Foundation have conclusively demonstrated that the efficiency of the Federal government can be dramatically improved by applying the sound business practices of outsourcing and competition. This groundbreaking study also revealed that the failed policies of the tax-and-spend Clinton administration can be easily corrected by opening contracts for Federal government functions to successful single-source bidders, thereby eliminating the costly and wasteful process of the bid analysis.

Independent research conducted by noted operations research and systems analyst Jonah Goldberg reinforces this view. "It's a win-win situation," Goldberg said. "This proposal will finally eliminate the politically-correct but wasteful practice of awarding contracts to the lowest bidder. That's a system that institutionalizes mediocrity and rewards only the trial lawyers who sue the government for large settlements." Goldberg also points out that competition will bring the magical efficiency of the marketplace to the government sector. By privatizing the Air Traffic Control System, for example, general aviation pilots will have the choice of which tower controller will most efficiently control airspace for the least cost.

Further, by opening the Federal workforce to private outsourcing, the treasury will save untold millions by reducing the needless bureaucratic civil service requirements for overeducated and overqualified Federal workers, who are now recruited straight out of liberal colleges and universities. Millions of jobs can be created for hard-working Americans while ending the wasteful system of liberal welfare for college kids rejected by the private sector.

You liberals are just going to have to live with it.



Liberals spread rumors

by snotty (Originally published November 18, 2002)

Increasingly desperate liberals, aided by their fellow leftists of the media elite, have recently attempted to perpetuate their disgusting smear campaign against our remarkable elected President, George W. Bush. These unpatriotic so-called "Americans" are questioning the honor and dignity of President Bush by attempting to resurrect the utterly discredited canard that President Bush failed to complete his military service.

However, an exhaustive search of the comprehensive Fawn Hall Archives and Records Repository at The Heritage Foundation has conclusively determined that no documents exist that would substantiate such a scurrilous slander against our elected President and his historic mandate.

Famed military historian and noted author Jonah Goldberg also disputes these unfounded allegations. Goldberg observed that he has read the entire manuscript of the President's celebrated autobiography, "A Charge to Keep" and has found no indication that the President was anything less than a brave, well-trained fighter pilot who was honored for his service to America by receiving promotion from airman basic to Second Lieutenant after less than one day of active duty. "Clearly," said Goldberg, "there is no greater tribute to President Bush's recognized potential as a gifted leader than the accelerated promotion and deferential treatment he received from the Texas Air National Guard."

You liberals should be ashamed of yourselves for slandering a genuine American hero. No conservative would ever sink to such depths.



Liberals talk too much

by snotty (Originally published November 22, 2002)

While weak liberals in Congress and the effete media endlessly debate, President Bush has demonstrated that he is a resolute man of action. Fulfilling his solemn promise to the American people, our elected wartime President George W. Bush has built a mighty coalition of democratic nations to defeat the world terrorist threat posed by the socialist Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein.

Careful analysis by the Phrynichus Institute at the Heritage Foundation shows that the recent anti-terrorist accord negotiated by our world-savvy President Bush and President Putin of Russia offers many security advantages to both sides while preserving our cherished American liberties. Together with the United Nations and NATO solidly committed to unconditional support for American-led liberation of the oppressed people of Iraq, our President has demonstrated that he can fulfill the overwhelming mandate he received from the American people in two elections.

The prestigious geopolitical strategist and best-selling author Jonah Goldberg agreed with this assessment. "By skillfully completing these difficult negotiations, President Bush has brought democracy to Russia, completing the final chapter of the historic Cold War victory begun by President Reagan." Goldberg foresees a new age of American diplomacy and warned other evildoers that America will not tolerate those who abuse the benefits of democracy and liberty.

You people should support our wartime President.



Liberals are anti-education

by snotty (Originally published November 27, 2002)

Our elected President, George W. Bush is making great strides in fulfilling his solemn campaign promise to be the Education President. Despite the stubborn resistance of obstructionist Democrats and the powerful liberal teachers lobby, President Bush has enjoyed considerable success.

The failed liberal education policies of the Clinton regime have produced a generation of American children unable to function in the modern workplace. Social promotion of illiterate students and the feel-good, self-esteem curriculum forced on public schools by unqualified unionized teachers are a prescription for failure.

But exhaustive research conducted by the eminent Professor Richard Arkwright of the Family Freedom Foundation's Center for Public Education at Liberty University offers a solution to the mass-production education failure of the liberal welfare state. Addressing the problem of children who are often graduated with little real-life economic skills, public schools should be designed to not only give students a basic knowledge of reading, writing and arithmetic, but also produce marketable skills that qualify individual students in the labor force.

Beginning in kindergarten, students should be trained under the close supervision of experts in Industrial Technology, giving them a proven hands-on education in valuable labor skills. This approach, enlightened educators agree, would not only utilize a tested learning device, but would also produce a viable product which could be sold to offset the cost of their education. Participating school districts and their supporting business partners can provide incentives to promising students through corporate sponsored scholastic achievement awards in the form of product placement in the school.

“It’s these kinds of common sense education reforms that have been subverted by a failed generation of liberal dominance in education,” said prominent educator and noted author Jonah Goldberg. “Students have been given copious helpings of useless Wood Shop and Metal Shop training while being denied the character-building discipline of Sweat Shop.”
You people are anti-family and unpatriotic.


Liberals are racists

by snotty (Originally published December 7, 2002)

In a direct attack on the overwhelming electoral mandate of America's wartime President, George W. Bush, liberals have resorted to the disgusting trick of playing the race card by deliberately distorting the remarks of Senate majority leader Trent Lott. Senator Lott correctly observed that his home state of Mississippi supported Strom Thurmond's 1948 Presidential campaign.

Recent studies conducted by the prestigious Kenneth J. Schmidt Center for a Color-Blind Society at the Heritage Foundation reveal that the liberal social engineering policies of the have had a profoundly negative national impact by advocating the communist theories of diversity, multi-culturalism and anti-familyism. Further, these liberal policies removed a vital component of our constitutional system of judicial checks and balances by imposing Federal anti-lynching mandates in direct violation of the sacred principle of States' Rights.

Independent research conducted by noted jurist and constitutional scholar Jonah Goldberg reinforces these important findings. "Liberals are in denial," said Goldberg. "Strom Thurmond is a great American conservative in the Reaganesque tradition."

You people should do your homework before you criticize.














Tuesday, December 24, 2002


Liberals are terrorist comsymps

by snotty

Unpatriotic Democrats and their fellow travelers of the sensationalist liberal media are shamelessly exploiting the few mis-spoken words of Senator Trent Lott in a brazen attempt to undermine the prestige of our elected wartime President, George W. Bush.
Extensive research conducted by the conservative scholars of the Matt Koehl Library at the Heritage Foundation have determined that this controversy, manufactured and peddled to the American people by the sinister organs of the vast liberal propaganda network, are intended to divert public attention from the President's overwhelming electoral mandate to defend our nation's cherished liberties by vigorously pursuing the War on Terror.

Despite the efforts of these treacherous defeatists, today our President unveiled the Ronald Reagan National Missile Defense System. According to defense and intelligence analysts at the Lafayette Baker Center for Strategic Intelligence at the American Enterprise Institute, the RRNMD will present a formidable defense shielding America from Iraqi, North Korean, Yemeni and Iranian terrorist ballistic missiles.

Noted defense policy expert, economist, author, and rocket scientist Jonah Goldberg has conducted independent studies that support this conclusion. In addition to providing an impenetrable missile shield, fielding RRNMD will provide a needed economic stimulus contribute to our elected President's visionary program to recover from the coming Clinton Recession. "RRNMD is actually a very economically sound policy because it skips the wasteful and costly research, testing and development phase," said Goldberg. "The costs saved can then be returned to the taxpayers in the form of a stimulating tax cut, which will then pay for all other government services and educate your children, too."

You people should stop your liberal race-baiting and support our wartime President.


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